My name is Klapaucius, and I'm a constructor.
So is my buddy, Trurl. But I'm much better than
he is, he just thinks he's so great. Here are some funny stories
- Once Trurl made a machine that he said could
make anything in "N", but it almost destroyed the entire universe!
- Another of Trurl's machines was so stupid,
it thought that two and two was seven, and it tore up a whole village chasing
him down and making him admit he was wrong. The stubborn machine got the
last word in the argument and then died, which is one of the few times I've
seen Trurl able to keep his mouth shut. It earned him quite a deserved reputation!
- I finally gave Trurl the shellacking he deserved,
after he hid in a fake Machine to Grant Your Every Wish, to spy on my real
Machine to Grant Your Every Wish.
- Trurl made a machine that composes poetry.
Here are some of its horrible poems. Trul
has more than one screw loose on the subject of that so-called mechanical
versifier. That Electronic Bard was responsible for the torment and death
of many a poet.
- The tabloids exploited a scientific paper that Trurl
and I wrote, as "The Police State Rears Its
Ugly Head", after the secret police leaked the files, code numbers
48999/11K/T and 49000/11K/T.
- Trurl's Femfatalatron
was unable to satisfy its first customer, who suffered from unrequited amatorial