The world awaits miracles from the internet!
Here are a few....
Never had time to complete those pesky college courses? Intimidated by big books
and scary Lit Professors? No problem! The internet allows you an international
forum for your opinions, no experience necessary!
Always wanted to be a sixteen year old girl even though nature has saddled you
with the body and mentality of an overweight, forty year old man? The internet
comes to the rescue! Simply log on as Ginger16@cyberscam.net! Who's to know?
And speaking of misrepresentation, wait'll you get a load of the internet's new
cyberbusiness! With the internet Capitalism is literally fastcash.com (!) In
fact, you can forget the business! Why mess around with the nasty details of
hiring employees and producing bulky, hard to handle products? Cyberbusiness
means you can create value added products and leave the product part to some
sweatshop in the third world! Or, leave it out entirely! In fact you don't even
have to get off your fat butt!
But wait! The best is yet to come! Have you ever felt constricted by the
limitations imposed by the fact that 60% of all airtime and 80% of all print is
devoted to advertising? With the new improved internet, you'll be able to
advertise to infinity and beyond!
Put off by different language and culture? Holy Tower of Babel Batman! Cyberlife
can help reduce those uncomfortable global moments due to hard to understand
foreign languages. The internet of the New World Order can finally clean up the
mess left by God's wrath with no nonsense infospeak! :) Dfrag yer hardcase and
download a nice day :) Mon Ami! Soon all of God's little children will be able
to speak together functionally if not expressively (Infospeak version 4.0 is in
the works but as of this date release time remains unannounced)
Why go all the way to some dank, musty old library when the world's knowledge is
at your fingertips at websites like Abridged.com, or UnimportantPartsDeleted.org
Yes the internet, Man's newest gift to man, will revolutionize life as we know
it! There is no doubt of it. Several of our most prominent scientists
theoretically promise this to us. And they should know! After all these are
exactly the same fellows who brought you the possibility of Global Thermonuclear
Paid for by netizens for a global everything.
Please direct inquiries to;
send the inquiry via e-mail to yourself,
we'll be able to read it either way.
Van Nuys, California