Somehow I don't know ...
Somehow I don't know how to say nice things.
Maybe it was my mother -- she rarely said nice things,
even when she meant them, they would come out
with a screech, "Do your dishes!" when of course
she meant, "My darling dearest, I do love you."
For her this wasn't much of a problem, she merely
drove my father to solitude, locked up in that
separate bedroom when the grandparents came to visit.
No, it's only been with you, my dearest dear
that my ungracious mouth has caused disrepute.
All night I could buzz and hum like a steamy mosquito,
and in fact I have, until your lungs have
ached for a soothing cigarette, headache rearing,
and not even hell's bitch could get you erect.
Through this, while you're sure I despise you
my inner parrot is squawking, "Dishes! Dishes!",
and the soap suds of my foremothers fill the drain.
Such words come reluctantly: "I'm sorry, my love."
--jennifer crystal chien