Jesus on a Stick Burning with Pastrami  
  

  
The second coming came
from the hands of cuisine innovators
on Christmas night.  The streets were dark,  
the stores closed for the holidays,  
and only the Jewish restaurants  
welcomed the earth with open doors.  
  
Three white-robed men  
carrying foil-wrapped presents and acrid incense  
entered the restaurant.  They sat apart  
from the rest, and even their menu 
was of another sort  (I could tell
from the straw manger and horses on the cover 
instead of rye).  They discussed what to order, 
throwing out choices such as "Lamb with Onions and Cream",  
"Pasta made with Extra Virgin Olive Oil", "Cheese  
Wafers and Wine", "Fish Loaves and Breadsticks",  
and even "Bloody Mary".  Apparently these offerings  
weren't miraculous enough for such a holy day.  
  
They quietly called over the Jewish manager,  
gesticulating in a manner that demanded  
improved service or public embarrassment.  He nodded,  
then hurriedly talked to the chief cook.  They argued  
and nearly came to fists, but with a flourish  
they finally presented a silver-lined, cloudy white menu --  
the plastic cover shining as if newly ordained.  
Opening the menu with their fingertips,  
the three men examined the fresh offering carefully.  
As if on a cue, they said, "Yes, one, please:  
'Jesus on a Stick Burning with Pastrami.'"  
  
The chef began to stir, mix, and fry,
flipping a small piece of flesh on a pan.  
Soon, he dressed it on a stick,
then he slipped pastrami on the other end.  
He brought it to the three men, then with a lighter,  
he set the stick on fire.  One white-robed man  
took the flaming stick, shaped in a cross,  
and held it above his head as he stood on the table.  
     "The time has come!" he declared.  
"Behold, the second coming of Christ!"  
  
The patrons turned to look, and the figure 
on the cross, dressed in white,  
came to life and screamed in agony.  
The voice was soft but we could all hear,   
"The fire! Put out the fire!"



     --jennifer crystal chien